Londoner Paulie O'Byrne says he is the face of the statistics
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Paulie O’Byrne has already endured a journey he never wanted to make.
Now, he’s lacing up for an epic trek of his own choosing.
The 30-year-old Londoner, a victim of sexual assault by a hockey coach at age 21, plans to literally stick-handle his way across Canada beginning next month.
“I’ve battled with addiction and anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder. I don’t suffer from it anymore. I live with it,” O’Byrne said.
His half-year, cross-Canada trip, starting May 1 from Victoria, B.C., is to raise money for Addiction Services Thames Valley.
He also wants to raise awareness about male victims of sexual abuse.
“I thought I was dirty. I thought I was shameful,” O’Byrne said. “I thought an alcoholic was a guy who lives under a bridge, but it was me. It’s tough to be a guy that goes through this.”
O’Byrne has tried this before — last year, he wanted to make the cross-Canada journey but a court battle against his molester took too much time, he said.
“The sex offender holds the shame, not the victim. Anyone can be a victim and sexual predators love silence. I’m not going to be silent,” O’Byrne said.
Born in Halifax, O’Byrne grew up in Mount Forest where he played hockey from a young age —it was in his blood, he said.
When he was 20, he got into coaching after figuring out that he wasn’t going to make it as a player.
In 2006, at age 21, he was sexually assaulted.
He was coaching a midget boys hockey team in Delhi when he was sexually assaulted by another coach.
“I’m one in five. I’m the one in five people in Canada who are affected by a mental illness, but I am also the one in five men who have experienced sexual harm,” he said.
His life spiraled.
O’Byrne began abusing drugs and alcohol.
He tried to kill himself three times and was eventually diagnosed with anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress disorder.
“It’s tough to be anyone and go through this, but it’s really tough to be a guy that goes through this,” he said. “There aren’t very many resources for men.”
Eventually, O’Byrne was helped by Addiction Services Thames Valley, an agency he said saved his life.
He was sober for 26 months, then fell off the wagon. He’s been clean for 15 months now.
“Addiction Services gave me the coping tools I needed,” O’Byrne said. “I didn’t know why I was making the decisions I was making, but I thought I was garbage. I know now that none of it is my fault.”
He plans to walk — hockey stick and ball in front of him — about 60 km a day.
“It’s going to be an adventure,” he said. “I can’t wait to meet Canadians. The stigma (of mental illness) keeps people sick for too long.”
The journey of 9,600 km to St. John’s N.L. will take about six months.
He plans to donate money to Addiction Services, as well as other organizations, along the way.
“Those organizations perform miracles,” he said. “You can draw a lot of strength from pain.”
O’Byrne’s abuser, Randy Fakelman, was sentenced in 2008 to probation and house arrest. He is on the national sex offender registry.
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ONLINE
- More about Paulie O’Byrne, shown at left, at www.im1in5.com
- Follow his progress at twitter.com/Paulie1in5
- Donate to the walk: http://www.gofundme.com/im1in5