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BRADLEY: Like the oak, finding a strength deep inside of ourselves

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My cynical friend, who wishes to remain anonymous (Julie), has now spent 14 days in self-imposed isolation. She says, “I’ve spent two weeks hanging out with myself and I am truly sorry to every person who I have ever spent time with.”                                                                              —

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Uncle Festus doesn’t like being called a senior or elderly despite the fact when he was born the Dead Sea wasn’t even sick. His back goes out more than he does. When he is told he is aging gracefully, he says, “That is a nice way of saying you are slowly looking worse.”

He grew a beard thinking it would brand him as a distinguished gentleman, when instead it screamed out “senior discount, please!”

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Festus just received a notice from the federal government. It looked real official with the Canadian flag letterhead and a big print CANADA. It was really from prankster Uncle Clary in Northern Ireland.

It read:

“TO HELP SAVE WHAT’S LEFT OF THE ECONOMY, THE GOVERNMENT WILL ANNOUNCE NEXT WEEK THAT THE IMMIGRATION DEPARTMENT WILL START DEPORTING SENIORS (INSTEAD OF ILLEGALS) IN ORDER TO LOWER OAS, CPP AND MEDICAL COSTS. OLDER PEOPLE ARE EASIER TO CATCH AND WON’T REMEMBER HOW TO GET BACK HOME. BE SURE TO SEND THIS NOTICE TO YOUR RELATIVES AND FRIENDS, SO THEY’LL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU.”

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“I started to feel sad when I thought of you. Then it dawned on me … I’ll see you on the damn bus.”

Uncle Festus retorted, “They can’t catch all of us.”                                                                                    —

Donald Trump as captain of the Titanic (Based on a real-life reality show from the United States) …

There is no iceberg.

We won’t hit an iceberg

I knew it was an iceberg before anyone else knew

No one knows icebergs better than I do

The penguins brought the iceberg here

No one could have predicted the iceberg

We cannot allow an iceberg to stop our ship

The crew spreads “fake news” about the iceberg

Some of you have to drown

I am the best captain, ask anyone

And finally Captain Trump, as the ship sunk, ordered everyone to the lifeboats, with the cry “Captain and Women first”.

Uncle Festus was there when the Titanic sunk. He yelled out repeatedly, “The ship is going to hit an iceberg. The ship is going to hit an iceberg.” Finally they threw him out of the theatre.

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Uncle Clary in Northern Ireland loves to research the Bradley Family History.   Recently he wrote about his great-great grandfather, Padraig Desmond O’Bradley. The O was dropped over time so people wouldn’t think we were Irish. Padraig lived over 100 years ago in the remote Irish countryside. He survived 18 potato famines, 16 religious conflicts, 14 weeping religious status apparitions and four World Cups.

Near the end of his life he decided it was time to visit Belfast as he had never been to a big city before. He was amazed. In one of the shops he picked up a mirror and looked into it. Not having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image staring back at him “How bout that! (His exclamation mark not mine). Here’s a picture of my Fadder …” He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his Dad.

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On the way home he remembered his wife, Aoife, which is a Gaelic name which means radiant and beautiful. (She wasn’t, but her parents had a great sense of humour.) Aoife didn’t like Padraig’s Dad so he hung the mirror in the back shed and every morning, before leaving to go pick stones out of the potato fields, he would go and look at it. Aoife became suspicious of his many trips to the shed. So, one day, after Padraig left, she went to the shed and found the mirror. As she looked into the glass, she fumed, “So that’s the ugly witch he is running around with.”                                                                                         —

Mayor Mike’s Playlist. Tony Wing, the dynamo executive director of the International Symphony Orchestra, asked if I could send him an “Isolation Play List” of 10 songs.

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With a great love of all types of music, except for heavy metal accordion, polka, and bagpipe dance music, I assembled the list. It was difficult, as in the beginning had 1,000 songs on my list. My funeral will take three days, given the lengthy list of songs I have asked to be played.

“Deputy Mayor” Janis said the mourners could come in shifts depending on their musical tastes (This was pre-COVID). If you go on the ISO website, look for Mayor Mike’s Playlist where it reads, “Sarnia Mayor Mike Bradley joins with the ISO in contributing an isolation playlist abound in hope and persistence through anxious times. We thank him for these choices.”

Tony has matched the choices to YouTube videos (also available on my Facebook page.) Skipped the easy choices like The Police’s “Don’t Stand So Close to me” or Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here”.

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The musical selections range from Springsteen to Andrea Bocelli to Bob Marley to Van Morrison to Punkers The Ramones. It’s great for the heart, mind and soul to make an Isolation Playlist. Do try this at home.                                                                                            —

Column ends this week with a poem “The Oak”. The poem is sometimes attributed to the late Alfred Lord Tennyson, the enduring Poet Laureate of the United Kingdom, who did write a poem called “The Oak”. The poem in this column is a different poem written by a poet named “Hallmark”. His work is in a lot of card stores. If the words and sentiment works that is all that matters.

My late Dad, Des Bradley, was once asked by a reporter at the Sarnia Observer why he was a labour leader and an advocate for people. He responded, “Because I believe in the Human Spirit.” This poem reflects in all of us in times of trouble we have the inner strength and human spirit to endure, survive and grow, whether we are a person, a community or a country.

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The Oak Tree. A message of encouragement.

A mighty wind blew night and day. It stole the Oak Tree’s leaves away, Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark until the oak was tired and stark

But still the Oak Tree held its ground while other trees fell all around The weary wind gave up and spoke, “How can you still be standing Oak?”

The Oak Tree said, “I know that you can break each branch of mine in two, carry every leaf away, shake my limbs, and make me sway But I have roots stretched in the earth, growing stronger since my birth. You’ll never touch them, for you see, they are the deepest part of me.

Until today, I wasn’t sure of just how much I could endure. But now I’ve found with thanks to you, I’m stronger than I ever knew”

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mayorofsarnia/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/mayorofsarnia

If you have any ideas or comments please call me at 519-332-0330, ext. 3312 or 519-336-8092 or email mayor@sarnia.ca

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