Living with anxiety
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It is very common to feel nervous or uptight before a big event. Experiencing anxiety is something we have all felt. An anxiety disorder, however, is diagnosed when various symptoms of anxiety create significant distress and functional impairment in daily living.
Twelve per cent (over 4 million) of Canadians live with anxiety disorders, says Anxiety Disorders Association of Canada. Seventy per cent of mental health problems and illnesses have their onset during childhood or adolescence, states the Centre of Addictions and Mental Health. Anxiety disorders often occur together or with other conditions such as depression or substance abuse. And while anxiety disorders are highly treatable with therapy, counseling or other resources, only about one-third of those suffering receive treatment.
Kim Brown-Morris, a Registered Social Worker at Indigo Lounge Wellness Centre, Tillsonburg who has worked with clients with anxiety states, “With prolonged stress, research indicates you are at high risk to develop anxiety. Stress is often the result of external factors while anxiety is based on internal factors. Prolonged anxiety has debilitating physical, emotional and even relational pain. The most severe of anxiety disorders being PTSD which is so powerful it has been the focus of much research as we try to understand how it may alter our brains by creating new pathways. For many people the more they focus on their anxiety the more they are training their brain to hone in on the anxiety and ignore everything else, creating a cycle.”
Brett Ford from the University of Denver researched and found that, “Some people get addicted to feeling anxious because that’s the state they have always known. If they feel a sense of calm they get bored, they feel empty inside. The interesting piece is that they find a certain comfort in it even if they don’t actually like it.”
In a blog SHEKNOWS by Ashley Williams in July 2014, Williams suggests that the rush of adrenaline that comes from anxiety could be instilled in us from having lived in a stress filled or traumatic household or that we may have been taught as a child that the world is a place where it is not safe. Williams also states that many living with anxiety don’t know any other way to deal with everyday stressors. I interviewed a friend that suffers from anxiety and here is a little from our Q & A session.
Q: How long have you experienced anxiety?
A: My whole life, as long as I can remember.
Q: Do you experience it more in certain situations?
A: More with authority figures or people I could disappoint, social situations, crowds or anything outside my comfort zone.
Q: What does anxiety feel like to you?
A: It’s difficult to take a full breath in. My heart races and my muscles feel very restless, shaky and tense. My mind goes full speed to catastrophic thinking. I feel like crying or throwing up or both.
Q: Has it gotten better or worse through the years?
A: It got really bad in school especially high school. I avoided anything extracurricular. In my late teens as I approached my twenties, the anxiety was mixed with depression and I tried to self-medicate with alcohol or other potentially harmful ways.
Q: And now?
A: Better. When I was 20 years old I read Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” and learned to separate my thoughts from my identity. I used to associate the feelings I had with who I am, and now know it’s something I experience. I started to learn to stay present so that external situations didn’t shift me as much. Over that past 3-4 years, I have worked at bringing awareness to what triggers me and where the anxiety stems from. My childhood family-life was unstable and tumultuous. Knowing where it stems from and why I have felt anxiety my whole life and why I am feeling anxiety now, assists me understand. I am still working on navigating through certain situations. I still have anxiety but it’s more manageable with awareness and acceptance.
Q: What do you do for relief?
A: I try and take slow deep breaths. I visualize calm breathing. I take a step away for some alone time. But sometimes even when I am alone, outside situations can cause me stress and I feel the same anxiety. I catch myself hanging on to the anxiety sometimes and I have to tell myself to let go of it. I continue to work on myself. I am more aware of my thought patterns and my ability to snowball into catastrophic thinking and that awareness allows me to bring myself back quicker to my true self. I journal and write, practice yoga and guided meditation. I dance to release and feel calmer.
Q: Can I use your name in the article?
A: Yes. No. Yes. (I could see my friend getting anxious. She took a deep breath in and out.) Yes. There is nothing to feel shameful about. I want others to know they are not alone.
Q: If you could give advice to someone else living with anxiety, what would it be?
A: To be patient and accepting, to take time to do what you love. To learn to say no when something doesn’t feel right and when you say yes, even if you are super ecstatic about the opportunity at first, and then the anxiety kicks in, just breathe and remind yourself that no matter what happens, you are going to grow from it. I don’t have any real advice about how to avoid the catastrophic thinking, because I haven’t fully mastered that yet, but I do try to stop thinking about what COULD happen, and instead focus on the moment… and take lots of deep breaths.
If you have anxiety or ongoing stress, you are not alone. There is help. If need immediate help, call 1-866-531-2600 – ConnexOntario for assistance 24/7. If you are looking for a therapist to assist you, there are many. Kim Brown-Morris MSW RSW offers extended benefit coverage 519-688-1188 and offers individual, family and couple counselling.
This can affect anyone, of any age.
Isn’t it time we take care of all of ourselves, body and mind?
(Happy Healthy YOU is a wellness column by Kelly Spencer: writer, life coach, yoga & meditation teacher, holistic healer and a mindful life enthusiast! If you would like to see an article on a specific topic, please email kelly@indigolounge.ca).
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